Saira, a family doctor based in California, approached me over six months ago, deep in Anorexia Nervosa recovery and looking for a writer to help her create an Anorexia Memoir. At first I was unsure and reluctant. As a rule, I only work with clients that can meet with me creatively in a healthy place. We talked over zoom and I found myself looking forward to our conversations about anything and everything. We both enjoyed nature, walking in the woods and discussing thorny philosophy. She loved dogs and when I saw her drinking from a mug which stated "I want to be the person my dog thinks I am" I was hooked.
Before Saira became my client she was my friend. One afternoon over a video call I shared my concerns about her vulnerability in recovery.
"Maybe this isn't the best time to write a book, Saira." I said. "You can wait until you feel physically and emotionally stronger."
She sighed. "I have never been physically or emotionally free from AN. Let the ugly be ugly Hannah. Just write what you see. Nothing more."
I agreed on one condition: I asked her husband John to work with us and help us stay accountable. But I also realised Saira was right. AN is the leading cause of death in young women and I didn't want to write about its effects in retrospect. So I crawled into the mental pit of Saira's eating disorder with my pen and notebook and committed myself to writing the truth. What I found was so much more than what it means to have an eating disorder. I discovered another lense through which to understand the nature of suffering and ultimately what it means to be human.
Thankfully, Saira has proven more than brave enough to meet the challenge.
Together, we are writing to educate and save lives. Most importantly, we are working to challenge the harmful existing narratives surrounding AN that further perpetuate this deadly disease.